Overall, I’ve been getting very enthusiastic responses when I tell people that I’m moving to Spain with my husband. The first question out of people’s mouths is usually “why” we’re moving there, followed quickly by the question, “What will YOU do?”
I respond to this by saying, “Well, I won’t have a work visa, so I won’t be allowed to work while I’m there.” Yeah…right…like I’m SO SAD that I won’t be able to work while I’m living in a beautiful country that’s famous for wines, cured meats, and delicious cheeses.
Then I go on about how I want to learn the language and immerse myself in the culture, and generally soak it all in. Because really…isn’t that what I SHOULD do while I have this opportunity?
And wouldn’t you know it, some people just want to be negative and doubtful and crap all over my parade. I’ve been most surprised by the people who react with an edge of condescension.
“I’d go crazy if I didn’t have anything to do all day.”
“You’re gonna be so bored, you’ll want to come home after two weeks.”
“You don’t know the language?? Good luck living there, then”
“You’re gonna be lonely as hell.”
And my personal favorite…
“You must not be very close to your parents”
Seriously?? Seriously??? You don’t even KNOW me and you’re psychoanalyzing my relationship with my parents? Just because you’d be too scared to try to live abroad in another country doesn’t mean that I am. I’ve always been a very independent person, and I’m confident that I’ll be okay during this move.
I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio. I went to college in Philadelphia without knowing another soul out here. I took an internship in Los Angeles and didn’t know anyone there either. After school, I moved to Southern New Jersey and didn’t see my friends or family super often, but it was all okay because we made it work. That’s just what you do when you’re far from family and friends…you miss them, and you try to stay in touch with them, and you’re sad when you can’t see them, but you live your life.
Being an independent person doesn’t mean that I value my relationships any less, it just means that I’m not going to miss out on any opportunities just because I’ll be away from the people I love. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents, and they are very supportive of Mike and me making decisions that are right for us. They are happy to see us lead independent, happy, fulfilling lives…isn’t that what parents raise us to do in the first place?
And I know that a lot of the nay-sayers are probably just a little jealous or something, but I also know that this kind of move isn’t for everyone. Some people really do need to be physically close to their family and friends in order to lead their happiest lives. In an ideal world, I would love to pack up an entourage of people and bring them to Spain with us, but since it isn’t possible, we’ll just make it work in other ways. I probably will be lonely sometimes, and I’ll miss my parents and my friends…of COURSE I will. But I’ll also probably have the time of my life exploring and learning new things about a new culture.
So I won’t rip on you for living 10 miles away from family if you don’t rip on us for moving out of the country with our lonely little selves, Capishe? You live the life that’s right for you, I’ll do the same, and we can swap stories and experiences and live vicariously through each other when we meet up again. How does that sound?
</End Rant>
