Are you a believer of this? Many people are. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard this over my own life: my mother is a big believer in this statement.
I don’t believe it. One bit. I completely understand why someone might say this to a friend or loved one during a tough time: they want you to feel hope, like you aren’t alone, that things will work out in your favor in the end, and many times they just don’t know what else to say. I get that. I always understand where the statement comes from, and usually it comes from a good place where the believer just wants you to feel better.
I still don’t buy it. In order to buy into it, I’d have to believe in a cosmic universe that I have no control over, that things will happen to me but it will be for some bigger purpose. Or, if you choose to believe, you’re on the side of a God who controls the intricacies and interactions in our lives, therefore has a path or larger plan for us.
Here’s what I believe: Life doesn’t always rule in my favor. Sometimes it does. Whether it does or it doesn’t, I am the one with the control on how I handle the situation and how I move forward with my life. There is no puppeteer hanging over me, deciding what will befall me and how I might emerge from the situation.
It is almost always true that we learn things from difficult and near-impossible situations, and the way that we as human beings are designed to overcome adversity is amazing. You could say that “X happened to you so you could learn Y lesson” but I personally believe in giving credit where credit is due: if someone learns a lesson or gets a better opportunity after an unusually hard time, it’s usually because that person worked for it, chose not to give up, and didn’t let themselves believe that a larger power would do everything for them. I respect that. Everyone should respect that & not pawn the credit off to the universe’s “reason.”
Again, I know that some people deeply believe in “Everything Happens for a Reason,” so I usually don’t make a deal of it when people say it to me. It irks me sometimes though, because I believe that our true characters show up at the times of greatest strife: whether or not I pull myself out of a difficult situation is on me, not on anyone or anything else.
Heavy topic for a random Tuesday? My wheels started turning when I read this Tweet by Tony Parsons, ReTweeted by Piers Morgan:
Nothing like a good Twitter prompt 
Which side of this do you fall on? What do you believe & why?
Mandy Reply:
August 2nd, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I can totally see how you would feel that way over this sentiment, Amanda. Considering the work you do & the families you deal with, I’m sure it can be an incredibly sensitive issue. I think your approach sounds like a great way to handle everything!
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